INT. THE NOTHINGNESS

THE VOICE

–all I could carry in my arms. As much sound as the land could spare. I was careful not to take more than what necessary. Waste not want not. When I got to the place where you would be, I buried it for you to find…. but not so deep that it missed you entirely.  ….but not so deep that it missed you entirely. Are you hearing this I wonder? Will you receive this message? Do you even know what frequency? What’s the frequency? Are you listening? Should I call you by name? As always, I’m– Your name? Name… Your name…

INT. TRUDY’S CAR MOVING – NIGHT

[Trudy is at the wheel and Carmen is sitting on the passenger side. Carmen is humming, rummaging through the glove compartment.]

TRUDY

Okay. You’ve been digging in there for a while now. What are you looking for?

CARMEN

I… am looking… I’m looking for something… anything to snack on.

[static, indistinct voices]

CARMEN

–anything to snack on.

TRUDY

There’s nothing in there.

CARMEN

No candy bar? Or anything?

TRUDY

No. Just my licence and registration. A tire pressure gage–

CARMEN [glitching]

A handgun!

TRUDY

Right, right, my handgun.

CARMEN

Trudy! What are you doing with this?

TRUDY

Not getting raped.

CARMEN

Rape?!? I’m sorry, who on earth rapes someone?

TRUDY

A rapist.

CARMEN

You know what? You really have a negative view of the world.

TRUDY

How often do you make it out of your house?

CARMEN

Oh look! We’re close!

[static, indistinct voices]

CARMEN

Oh look! We’re close!

TRUDY

Is this the main part of town?

CARMEN

Yes. This is San Locura. If we continue on this road for five more miles the cabin will be just up in the hills ahead. Pull over to that diner!

TRUDY

Oh…The creepy one?

CARMEN

I think it’s best we investigate the disappearance of my husband on a full belly.

TRUDY

Great. You’re the boss, applesauce.

[static, indistinct voices]

TRUDY

You’re the boss, applesauce. Can you put the gun back in the glove compartment?

CARMEN

Gladly.

[She puts it back.]

[Trudy pulls the car over and shuts off the engine.]

CARMEN

Shall we?

TRUDY

I’ll meet you inside.

CARMEN

I need to use the little girl’s room and freshen up first, so when you go in feel free to order ahead yourself.

TRUDY

You got it.

[Carmen exits the car.]

TRUDY

Take me to some creepy spooky diner in the middle of nowhere.

[Trudy opens the glove box and removes the gun. She opens the chamber and claps it shut again.]

INT. THE NOTHINGNESS

[CLICK.]

[STATIC.]

[the sounds of eating and drinking, continuous]

[CLICK.]

LOUISE

Would you be a dear and zip me up?

DONALD

Sure thing. I can hold a drink in one hand and zip you up with the other. I am multi facetted man.

LOUISE

A man’s man.

[ZIP. Too long a zip. So many zips.]

DONALD

There all… you have a tag sticking out.

LOUISE

Tuck me back in?

DONALD

Sure… hm. Curious…

LOUISE

What is it?

DONALD

Your tag. It says–

THE VOICE

What’s the frequency? Are you listening? Should I call you by name?

DONALD

It says something.

LOUISE

That’s just care instructions. Don’t bother your pretty little head with that. It’s women stuff really.

DONALD

That’s not it.

LOUISE

Well, what does it say?

DONALD

This is your wife.

[STATIC.]

[a whispered ‘I love you’]

[CLICK.]

 

INT. BARTON’S APARTMENT – NIGHT

[Barton is sitting on his couch drinking a beer and crying. There’s a vigorous KNOCK on his door. He sniffles. The KNOCKING continues.]

BARTON

WHAT?!?

GANS (O.S.)

It’s me! Open the door!

BARTON

Get out of here.

GANS (O.S.)

It’s important! Open up!

[Barton sits up. The beer slips from his hands and spills to the ground.]

BARTON

Oops. I’m coming!

[He unlocks the door. Gans bursts through.]

GANS

Everything okay? I’ve been calling you.

BARTON

And?

[record scratch]

GANS

Are you drunk?

BARTON

So?

GANS

Bad timing Barton.

BARTON

Want a beer?

GANS

I cracked the ledger!

BARTON

Hey I need that back. I need to give it back.

GANS

Are you listening? I know who the cop is in the ledger! It’s just the one. They’ve been using one cop to collect and distribute the payoffs!

BARTON

If I give them back the ledger they stop… and my family can be safe again.

GANS

Give it back?!? It’s too late for that. This is… Your in this all the way and you have to see it through.

BARTON

People are going to get hurt if I keep going.

GANS

If you think returning the book is going to change that–

BARTON

For my sister… my brother I have to stop this.

GANS

Then let’s do that! Go get the bad guys. Get the credit you deserve. Keep your family safe. But this is the only way Barton.

BARTON

You’re a good friend.

GANS

I know.

BARTON

Who is he?

GANS

The dirty cop?

BARTON

Who?

GANS

Keets. It’s Officer Keets.

BARTON

Ugh. I hate him.

GANS

First rate jerk.

BARTON

Scoundrel.

GANS

We need to sober you up if you’re going to anything about this tonight.

BARTON

In the morning–

GANS

Tonight. You don’t have the time. If they’ve come for your family, they’ll be coming for you.

BARTON

You’re right.

GANS

You need to go to him first.

BARTON

I have some coffee around here…

GANS

I’d go with you but…

BARTON

You want some coffee?

GANS

I left my post at the station to come find you. Last thing I need is someone to realize I’m caught up in this mess with you.

BARTON

Sorry.

GANS

Don’t be. We’re going to get this creep.

 

INT. THE NOTHINGNESS

[CLICK.]

[STATIC.]

[‘I am a multifaceted man’ & ‘A man’s man’ on repeat, music plays beneath]

[CLICK.]

[STATIC.]

 

SLICK

Every time you bring Enfield No. 2 brand cigarettes to your lips, you’re treating your senses to finest tobacco this country has to offer. What makes Enfield No.2s number one? [long pause] Let’s ask these everyday fine gentlemen why they’re so loyal.

GENTLEMAN #1 [panting]

After a vigorous wrestling match, there is nothing finer than laying back on the mat next to your opponent – here, have one – as you share a drag of Enfield No. 2.

[GUN SHOT.]

GENTLEMAN #1

Hey! Save some for me!

[GUN SHOT.]

SLICK

What say you?

[static, The Voice monologues]

SLICK

What say you?

GENTLEMAN #2

When I came back from the war sporting two less legs then what I left with, the doctors tried everything to treat my discomfort. Nothing seemed to do trick like finding solace by sucking on the unfiltered end of an Enfield No. 2.

[GUN SHOT.]

SLICK

Way to go, sport! How’s about you, friend?

GENTLEMAN #3

Enfield No. 2 has a flavor the other brands just can’t replicate. A flavor that caught the curiosity of my little champ, Jeffie. Was I mad when I caught him trying to emulate his dear ole dad? Of course not! Only the budding flower of manhood hears the call of a powerful precision instrument that is Enfield No.2. My boy and I celebrated his grand moment as equals. We each had a round of Enfield No. 2.

JEFFIE

Look Dad! I’m doing it!

[GUN SHOT. Body FALLS.]

GENTLEMAN #3

And why not? They’re harmless!

[GUN SHOT.]

SLICK

You’re flying high, ace! Spishak uses state of the art machinery to give it that unique flavor of gun oil and metal. Enfield No. 2 cigarettes… cigarettes so fine they explode with flavor. Also try our new extended clip Enfield No. 2 sold everywhere.

[STATIC.]

 

[CLICK.]

 

http://from%20the%20Superman%20(1941)%20film

 

[STATIC.]

 

[CLICK.]

 

EXT. ELLS WRITER’S CABIN – NIGHT

[Walter, Whitney and Krog carefully make their way up the path to the front door of the cabin.]

WHITNEY

I’m just suggesting that there seems to be some sort of commotion at the diner.

WALTER

And I’m suggesting we stick to our own problems.

[Whitney makes a mouth fart.]

WALTER

Whit… the world is filled with problems and commotions and evil. We can’t deal with them all.

KROG

Heez write. Not yawr problm Whit.

WHITNEY

Hush now.

[Whitney pulls out her handgun and readies it by cocking the hammer.]

WALTER

We were bringing guns?

WHITNEY

Yes.

WALTER

As of when?

WHITNEY

Always! We always bring guns.

WALTER

That’s not true.

KROG

I dident bing no gun.

WALTER

Krog and I both don’t have a gun.

KROG

Ronnie.

WHITNEY

Oh, Troubles…Do you want my gun?

WALTER

No. I want a clear line of communication before we leave for any of our future dangerous endeavors.

WHITNEY

Fine!

WALTER

Thank you.

WHITNEY

Next time, darling, I’ll make sure to pack you your gun.

WALTER

Thank you.

WHITNEY

Don’t worry. Ready?

WALTER

Knock away.

 

[Whitney lightly knocks. Silence.]

WHITNEY

Joseph? Joseph Ells?

[A twig snaps in the distance.]

WALTER

Krog–

KROG

Ronnie.

WALTER

–you’re up. Go check that out.

[Krog carefully heads off into the dark woods. Whitney knocks again.]

WHITNEY

Mr. Ells, my name is Whitney. I’m here with a private detective Walter Mix. [Pause] Your wife hired us. Can we come in?

[Silence. Some leaves rustle in the distance.]

WALTER

Mr. Ells! This is Walter Mix. In case you are currently indisposed or injured we will be letting ourselves in. [Beat] Whit… Do the honors.

[Whitney lets out a GRUNT as busts the door open in one kick.]

WALTER

I was referring to testing the door handle to see if it was unlocked–

WHITNEY

That’s usually the signal for kicking the door in.

WALTER

This works too.

[They take moment to look around the cabin.]

WHITNEY

Hm. Little….

WALTER

Empty?

WHITNEY

Yup.

WALTER

Very…

WHITNEY

Clean.

WALTER

Yup.

WHITNEY

Clearly not here.

[Krog enters.]

KROG

Iz fynd no won out dare. (beat) Wearz iz evyting?

WALTER

It’s a little strange.

[Walter takes a closer look at the walls. And begins feeling around.]

WALTER

Hmmm. Whit… run your hands along the wall.

[Whitney does so.]

WHITNEY

Oh. That feels…

WALTER

Very much like the material from that woman’s apartment.

WHITNEY

Yes but this has a better feel. Almost like the way it should. Like wood.

WALTER

Look for a seam.

[Their hands grope at the walls.]

WALTER

Got it!

[He strains to pull it.]

WALTER

Give me hand, will you?

[Whitney and Krog begin to pull as well until it makes a loud TEAR.]

WHITNEY

Pull! Everybody pull!

[Krog, Walter and Whitney furiously TEAR and TEAR. It just keeps going until–]

WHITNEY (Out of breath)

Oh my… Troubles… how is this possible?

KROG

Wut duh?

WALTER (Out of breath)

Everything… EVERYTHING is hidden underneath this layer of… paper?

KROG

Desk. Chaire. Rug. Taybl.

WHITNEY

Body! Troubles! Troubles?

[Whitney and Walter rush over to man on the ground.]

WHITNEY

Mr. Ells.

WALTER

Are you sure?

WHITNEY

This is him. Definitely.

KROG

Iz ee dead?!?

WHITNEY

Looks it.

KROG

Wuz ee gotz en is and?

WALTER

Let go please.

[Walter checks the body and finds the missing piece of the typewriter clutched in his hand.]

WALTER

Uh huh! And here is our missing typewriter piece.

KROG

Wheely?

WALTER

Absolutely.

KROG

Heer. Iz kan old it faw youz.

WHITNEY

No way. Nonononono.

WALTER

She has a point big fella. I think we’ll hold onto it this time.

KROG

What, you don’t trust me no more?

WHITNEY

Good. AND Mr. Ells is still breathing.

WALTER

Wonderful news!

WHITNEY

It’s shallow but he’s still with us.

WALTER

Do we get more money for him being alive?

[A gun hammer cocks back.]

CONNIE

Oh my dear! I’ve been looking everywhere for you.

WALTER

Hello… strange lady from nowhere. I’m Walter.

CONNIE

Hello.

WALTER

This is Whit.

CONNIE

Hi.

WALTER

And don’t judge him by his looks but that’s Krog.

KROG

Hey!

CONNIE

Hi there. Thank you so much for finding my sweetheart.

WHITNEY

Sweetheart?

WALTER

That’s what we do ma’am… We find people… for other people.

CONNIE

He looks like an angel sleeping there.

WHITNEY

Oh. He does… Say… would you happen to be Connie?

CONNIE

OH! Has Gabriel been going on about me while I was out? He always says the sweetest things.

WHITNEY

Oooh, a real smoothie. May I ask what is it with the gun?

CONNIE

Gun?

WHITNEY

That one.

CONNIE

Gun?

 

WHITNEY

In your hand.

CONNIE

A gun?

WHITNEY

Yes, the gun.

CONNIE

Oh this? A conversation piece.

WALTER

You referred to this man as Gabriel?

CONNIE

My mother is supposed to meet us for dinner. He was taking us to a fancy restaurant.

WALTER

He being Mr. Ells?

CONNIE

Who?

WALTER

The gentleman laying in a heap on the floor.

CONNIE

That? That’s not Mr. Ells. My love. My love. My love and my moon and my sunshine.

WHITNEY

If I didn’t know any better I would say you are in love.

WALTER

Perfect example of the power of deduction. See Whit, you’ve got the gift as well.

CONNIE

Aren’t you two cute.

WALTER & WHITNEY

Us two?

CONNIE

Gabriel hadn’t told me we’d be on a double date tonight. Tell me… how did you two come to meet?

WALTER

Aren’t we going to be late for dinner?

CONNIE

I bet the story is just adorable.

WHITNEY

Not really. Quite mundane in fact.

KROG

Oh oh oh! I’ll tell’yuz. Seez dey twoo iz twin soulz–

WALTER

Ronnie! Come on now. Why don’t you let me tell the nice lady–

WHITNEY

NO! Dear… allow me to tell it. It’s not too often I’m given the chance.

WALTER

Um… by all means. You have the floor, as it were.

CONNIE

How sweet. Such a gentleman.

WHITNEY

Thank you dear. You see Ms. Killmiester. It was ten years ago that my life had intersected with Mr. Mix. He had been hired by “father” to follow “mummy” around to see what she was up to. What brought Mr. Mix to my father’s attention, you ask? He had been caught cheating in a card game at one of “father’s” many bars. “Father” was a man of industry with thriving businesses such as game rooms and clubs. All sorts of things. He was even known to place unwanted children into new homes. Collected a few himself, of course. But back to the story at hand.

When Mr. Mix had successfully scrapped his way out of the bar, he couldn’t get very far before one of “father’s” employees tipped him off to where Mr. Mix could be found. With no other options, Mr. Mix became an employee and straight away to work. All he had to do was follow “mummy”. Now… was “mummy’ cheating? No… mummy wasn’t anything like “father”. Mr. Mix caught “mummy” making business arrangements to “acquire” “father’s” assets, as it were. For his outstanding work a thank you to Mr. Mix was in order, “father” wipe away Mix’s debt and for the cherry on top – you ready? – an even grander gesture was made. He gave him me. We’ve been together ever since.

CONNIE

Twin souls! How romantic!

KROG

That’s not the same ting I heard.

WALTER (Whispered)

Is that story you’re going with?

WHITNEY (Whispered)

Come now. You always get to tell people how we met. It’s my turn!

WALTER (Whispered)

Tad bit dark don’t you think?

WHITNEY (Whispered)

She seems to like it.

CONNIE

They couldn’t keep you two apart. That reminds me of our story. Doesn’t it dear? How the world conspired to keep us apart.

WALTER (Whispered)

Honestly… I’m sure she’s been listening.

CONNIE

It’s seems like forever ago that we met in that office. Gabriel or Mr. Black as he insisted I call him around the office. Which is sweet because it became a pet name of sorts.

WALTER (Whispered)

Soon may be a good time to use that gun of yours.

WHITNEY (Whispered)

Looking for an opportunity as Daffy Duck here waxes poetic.

CONNIE [distorted]

Secrets! Telling secrets?!? Secrets. Secrets. Secrets.  Nonononononono… We keep nothing from each other around here.

WHITNEY

Ok. Sorry about that.

CONNIE [distorted]

(Giggles) He used to slip me secret notes. Things he wouldn’t, NO,  couldn’t say. Oh those notes could light my fire for days!

WHITNEY

What did they say?

CONNIE

Huh?

WHITNEY

These notes. Mr. Black never mentioned them to us.

CONNIE [distorted]

Of course he wouldn’t! What kind of man do you think he is?

WALTER

Can’t you just tell us one… little, tiny, romantic note? After all… we shared our tale.

CONNIE [distorted]

Oh the notes! Yes the notes! I remember them.

WALTER

And?

CONNIE [distorted]

I shouldn’t. I cant! Oh… (Giggles) There was this one time… I was at my desk, this is before I knew he even thought about me, and I was typing something up for Mr. Fine. I don’t actually recall the frequency though.

WHITNEY

Fine?

CONNIE [distorted]

Gabriel… I mean Mr. Black quickly passes me a folded paper. I don’t recall the folding pattern–

 

WHITNEY (Whispered)

Jeez this lady sure knows how to elongate a story.

[Connie fires off the gun hitting Whitney in her side.]

WALTER

Whitney!

CONNIE  [distorted]

Don’t be rude. (Beat) And on the paper it said: “Connie–

KROG

Hey!

CONNIE [distorted]

–Three coffees. Black.

WALTER

Whit! Are you hit?

WHITNEY

Troubles… I think… Awww, peas and carrots.

[Whitney PLOPS down on her butt.]

CONNIE  [distorted]

Hush. (Beat) Two tuna sandwiches no crust and one BLT. Please do this ASAP. Already called in the order. It will be waiting at the diner across the street under the name Joseph Ells.

KROG

Miz Whit? Are you alright? She… Hay laydee no wone buh mee shude bee shewten at hewr.

[Krog punches Connie on her side causing her to stumble across the room and SLAMS into the opposite wall.]

CONNIE

You brute!

[Connie fires three rounds into Krog’s chest.]

KROG

Aargh!

[He slumps to the ground.]

WALTER

Whit… I will get you out of here. You’ll be fine.

WHITNEY

Troubles?

WALTER

Yes.

CONNIE [distorted]

I am trying to tell a story.

[Connie picks herself up off the ground]

WHITNEY

Shut up and take this will you?

[She gives Walter the revolver and promptly passes out in Walters arms.]

WALTER

Whit? Terrible time for a nap. Terrible time. This part is normally your job.

[He gives her head a kiss. ]

CONNIE [distorted]

You pretend to take interest in a girl–

WALTER

Be just a moment Whit.

CONNIE [distorted]

–and then don’t bother when she asks you to ACTUALLY listen to something!

[Connie pulls back the hammer, takes aim and charges across the room. Walter aims the revolver and unloads all five rounds. Connie lets out a grunt. She stumbles backward and falls on the floor.]

WALTER

Whitney?

CONNIE [distorted]

Do you recall?

[Connie coughs out blood.]

WALTER

Whitney?

[He checks her pulse]

WALTER

Still kicking. That’s excellent news. Keep it up Whit. We’ll get you out of here. Krog?

CONNIE [weak, distorted]

But you know it, right?

[Walter’s eyes dart around the room.]

[Krog’s gone.]

WALTER (To himself)

You’ve got to be kidding me! Three bullets in the chest and you still walk it off. A piece of work you are, Krog.

CONNIE [distorted]

What is it?

[Walter walks over to Connie.]

WALTER

What is what?

CONNIE [distorted]

The frequency? What is…? [repeats, glitches]

[She exhales and gurgles out her last breath.]

WALTER

That’s that, Whit. Let’s get you and Mr. Ells to the car. Assuming the car is there…

[Walter lifts Whitney from the ground.]

WALTER

Lets hope this time the car is still there, kid.

[typewriter starts]

[Title sequence plays.]

[lounge music plays]

COMPUTER “JAMES OLIVA”

What’s The Frequency? is written and created by James Oliva. Production and sound design by Alexander Danner. What’s The Frequency’s theme music composed by Kurt C Nelson.

Featured in this episode was an excerpt from “Invisible Sun“ by Soclorance and some old audio from a Superman cartoon. But who cares. There are more important questions. Questions like.

Do you like the show?

Do you?

Do you?

Do?

You?

You.

Do you like this show? This show is What’s The Frequency? Please take some time and.

David?

Take some time.

James?

Time.

Take it.

Time.

We’d like to thank.

What am I?

What.

Am I?

What?

Thank you.

As always. I’m James Oliva. Till next time.