CLICK.
STATIC.
INT. JAPANESE RESTAURANT – DAY
Detective Joy and Officer Keets are taking a statement from KOJI, mid 30s, the restaurant manager.
KOJI
Again… a man… a man I’ve never
seen before came in talking
nonsense. He assaulted my customers.
DETECTIVE JOY
You seem a little hostile sir. Can
I have you calmly walk me through
the rest of your story?
KOJI
Story?
DETECTIVE JOY
The events that took place.
KOJI
He assaulted my customers. He came
in here mumbling. He was looking for his keys.
DETECTIVE JOY
Uh-huh.
KOJI
He started hitting himself. I told
him “We don’t have your keys! Get
out!” He starts hitting the customers.
DETECTIVE JOY
Did he have a weapon?
KOJI
He just used his hand and slap
them. I warned him “We’re going to
call the police. Stop!” But he keeps
going on about the needs the
keys for a net. I told him he was crazy and
threw this coffee cup at his head. Then he ran off.
DETECTIVE JOY
Good. This is good. Did anyone
happen to see where he took off too?
KOJI
No.
DETECTIVE JOY
You did a good thing here sir. Why
don’t you head outside and wait. I
need to converse with my colleague here.
Koji exits.
DETECTIVE JOY (CONT’D)
So… It looks like we have a full
blown epidemic on our hands Keets.
OFFICER KEETS
It’s horrible just plain horrible.
DETECTIVE JOY
I’m having you assigned to the case.
I’ve already talked it over with the chief.
OFFICER KEETS
Really? I don’t think-
DETECTIVE JOY
You’ve had a unique encounter and
you have your head screwed on
straight… for the most part.
OFFICER KEETS
I should talk it over with my-
DETECTIVE JOY
No. That won’t be necessary. You’ll
do fine. I few more days you’ll be past it.
Besides everybody wants a shot at being
detective. Right? Here’s your big chance.
OFFICER KEETS
Ok.
DETECTIVE JOY
Get the idiot restaurant owner down
to the station and have him sit with the
sketch artist.
INT. THE NOTHINGNESS –
CLICK.
STATIC.
MISSY
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The kinds of vitamins to help mommy
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with weight control so you can
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endless. The boys of Spishak’s
science division couldn’t help but
answer the call in improving the
health benefits of their most
popular brand Enfield No. 2. They
knew mothers to be needed even more
support from their pregnancy
cigarettes compared to the previous
generations. Spishak leading the
way to America’s healthier future.
STATIC.
CLICK.
INT. ELLS FAMILY HOME KITCHEN – NIGHT
Carmen and Trudy are sitting at the kitchen table drinking
cocktails and avoiding conversation.
TRUDY
So…
Carmen drops ice in a cup.
TRUDY (CONT’D)
That was-
CARMEN
Yes.
TRUDY
Any thoughts?
CARMEN
Too many.
TRUDY
I admit the card in the drawer is strange but-
CARMEN
I’m sure it’s nothing.
TRUDY
Kind of letting our imaginations
get the best of us there.
CARMEN
My imagination can’t even build the
bridge to place where this card makes sense.
TRUDY
Have you been up the cabin to check
on him?
CARMEN
No.
TRUDY
You should go.
CARMEN
I can’t.
TRUDY
Why not?
CARMEN
I don’t have a way to get there.
TRUDY
There has to be a way.
CARMEN
What if he comes home and I’m not
here? What if Mr. Mix comes and
needs my help with finding him? What if-
TRUDY
What if? What if? What if? You
can’t just sit here and wait.
CARMEN
I’m not.
She shoots the rest of drink down.
CARMEN (CONT’D)
I’m conducting my own investigation.
TRUDY
I can drive you.
CARMEN
I can’t go.
(Pause)
I’m scared. I’m scared to go see.
For what I might… find. Somehow
not knowing feels safer than knowing.
(Beat)
For now.
Silence as Trudy finishes her drink.
TRUDY
That was a tasty drink. You should
get some rest and I should get home.
Love, Honor and Decay will be on soon.
CARMEN
Thank you Trudy. Good night.
INT. THE NOTHINGNESS –
THE VOICE
I remember… I remember… As a
young man… I was hiking. The foot
path was well worn. The forest was
thick and green. So much green.
Green… I remember walking off the
path. I was not worried what lay
ahead. What dangers may or may not
- I was a god. Indestructible.
Infinite. It was so green… So
green. The forest was thick and
obstructive. Never unwelcoming but
if I wanted to press on I would
have to take big risks.
Press through the branches. Make
them bend to my will. Bend but
never break. I walked for days. I
walked for days. For days… There
was so much green and the forest
THE VOICE (CONT’D)
was thick. There was nothing I
could to stop from going deeper
into the dark, dark green. The
forest… the journey in possessed me.
I was hiking in the green infinite.
It was how I remembered it. Just
how it going to be. Through the
branches. Through the overgrowth.
Through the dark green. Through to
the flat amber field. It was amber.
The most amber. A lone tree was
growing in the field. A giant amber tree.
Though this tree wasn’t reaching for the sky.
It had long since giving up that ambition. It’s
days of desiring the sun’s caress were over.
Instead it’s ambernition was more inward.
It was a cautious tree. So it redirected it’s path.
No longer striving for up but burrowing it’s
way back into the earth. Down into the earth.
Down.
Down.
Down.
It’s majestic arch an abomination to nature.
But it didn’t care.
Why would it care?
I didn’t care.
INT. MICELI FAMILY NIGHTCLUB OFFICE – NIGHT
Music plays through the walls of the night club.
Walter is tied to a chair with a sack still over his head.
WALTER
No? No one? No one wants to talk?
We’re all just going to sit here in silence?
(Beat)
To the gentleman who punched me in
the ribs…
A door open and footsteps make their way past Walter.
Someone settles into a soft desk chair.
WALTER (CONT’D)
Was that entirely necessary? Was
there no other place to hit me? I
am still recovering from previous injuries.
The sack gets tugged off Walter’s head hard.
WALTER (CONT’D)
What’s the big… Hey…
Thomas Miceli sits at a large desk in front of Walter.
WALTER (CONT’D)
Krog!
THOMAS
Mr. Mix if I can have your attention for a moment.
WALTER
Krog!
KROG
Who?
WALTER
You.
KROG
I’s ain’t Krog.
WALTER
Glad to see the fall didn’t kill you chap.
THOMAS
WALTER!
WALTER
YES! “Mr. Mix if I can have your
attention for a moment.” I can hear
just fine you bag of bricks! I didn’t respond
because I am trying to have a conversation!
You are rude sir! You are troublingly rude!
Pause.
THOMAS
Would someone please recalibrate Mr. Mix?
Walter gets punched to the side of the head several times.
WALTER
Argh! Really?
THOMAS
You are in some serious hot water.
I suggest you begin to act accordingly.
WALTER
How long have I been here?
THOMAS
We have business to discuss.
WALTER
An hour? Two?
THOMAS
Not only do we have OUR business
but my boss would like to speak to
you after we’re done.
WALTER
(snickering)
You’re answering to someone now?
THOMAS
You know who I am?
WALTER
I know everyone. Even those who
don’t know me Mr. Thomas Miceli.
THOMAS
Great. Introductions are out of the way.
WALTER
And who is it that has you
kowtowing to them?
THOMAS
I don’t kowtow Mix, but we all
answer to somebody. Walter spits
blood onto the desk. Thomas chuckles to himself.
That’s the man I’ve heard so much about.
WALTER
Would you like me to autograph something for you?
THOMAS
Recalibrate!
Walter is punched again.
WALTER
I could sign a napkin for you, a
piece of paper… a handgun.
THOMAS
You’re like a nail sticking up…
begging to be hammered down.
WALTER
Wouldn’t be the first time.
THOMAS
Where is my ledger?
WALTER
Isn’t this a question for your bookkeeper?
THOMAS
Big man… If you please.
KROG
Sure thing.
WALTER
Like I was trying to say before-
WHOP
Walter takes another punch.
He coughs out some more blood.
WALTER
You’ve got barely a scratch old
boy. Marvelous.
KROG
Hey. Youz crazee or sumtin? Hez
gonna make me hitz youz again.
WALTER
Nah. You and me are pals.
Douglas enters the room.
THOMAS
One more time if you please.
KROG
Dis is gonna hoyt funee man.
Douglas “The Devil” Kowalski makes his way to Miceli’s desk.
WALTER
Someone’s in trouble.
His pristine shoes SQUEAK across the floor.
THE DEVIL
What are you doing?
THOMAS
This stunade has a hard time showing respect.
THE DEVIL
Do you think I care about your respect?
You ASKED me if I’d allow you to speak
with him before our meeting!
THOMAS
I’m still asking-
THE DEVIL
Look at him! If I let you ask one
more question how much of him will be left?
THOMAS
If he would just-
THE DEVIL
You can leave. You’re done. The
boys can stay.
THOMAS
I need-
THE DEVIL
Excuse me?
Pause.
THOMAS
I need… I need to be on my way.
WALTER
You got lucky Miceli.
THOMAS
How’s that?
WALTER
(to Krog)
I’ve been here two… two hours now?
KROG
About.
WALTER
Another ten minutes, give or take,
and you would have been very sorry.
THOMAS
Watch you’re back Mix.
Door slams shut behind him.
THE DEVIL
Please untie Mr. Mix.
WALTER
Finally. Some one with kindness in
their heart.
GENERIC THUG unties Walter.
Walter pops up out of his chair.
WALTER (CONT’D)
Thank you. I’ll need your weapon.
Steals the Generic Thug’s gun and uses him as a shield.
WALTER (CONT’D)
Now! If you wouldn’t mind sir I’ll
be using you as a shield for the
time being. Your cooperation is appreciated.
He cocks the hammer.
GENERIC THUG 2
Put it down! Put it down!!
WALTER
Back away Krog. I have a rule about
not shooting my friends. Let’s not
have me break it today.
KROG
Yeahz. Wez pals. Don’t shoot.
THE DEVIL
(Laughing)
How wonderful Walter. It’s really a total
pleasure… having you here.
THE DEVIL (CONT’D)
(Beat)
Back off everyone. Come on. Give a guy some space.
WALTER
I really should start carrying a gun.
Suddenly everyone is so accommodating.
THE DEVIL
Unnecessary Walter. Really. Please take a seat.
Have a drink with me.You’re a bourbon man correct?
WALTER
I am parched.
THE DEVIL
Great. I so wanted to share a drink with you
Mr. Mix. Let the man go.
(Pointedly)
He won’t hurt you.
Walter lets him go.
THE DEVIL (CONT’D)
Please. Sit Mr. Mix.
Doug gets out a bottle of bourbon.
THE DEVIL (CONT’D)
There you go. Put your feet up there a
a little bit. Man you know… sitting is an
art form. That is a good chair, isn’t it?
I had it flown in. Just feel that leather in this chair.
I tell you this is my favorite place to sit and
read and enjoy a bourbon… and a conversation.
Hands Walter the drink.
THE DEVIL (CONT’D)
You’re drink. It’s fine stuff.
It’s doesn’t come cheaply but it’s not
wasted on a man like you is it Walter?
Take a sip. I’ll take a drink too.
Walter takes a sip.
WALTER
Oh god! My mouth! The cuts! So many!
THE DEVIL
It’s good it’ll numb you up.
(Beat)
I had you brought here tonight
because we need to talk business.
WALTER
You could have called.
THE DEVIL
I did… In my own way. I know
about you and your recent mischief.
Making off with a certain important
ledger. I’d like to make a deal
with you in exchange for your help.
Walter takes another cautious sip.
WALTER
Douglas… “The Devil” Kowalski?
That’s you. I’m right, right? Along
with my “no shooting friends’
policy, I have a policy against
making deals with The Devil.
THE DEVIL
Maybe it’s time to revise your
policy. The job I need you to
do is really simple. I need you
to track a missing item. It’s a typewriter.
WALTER
A typewriter?
THE DEVIL
Yes, yes. One that was stolen from me.
WALTER
You want to erase my trespass
against one of your family captains?
For a typewriter?
THE DEVIL
Yes.
WALTER
A typewriter. We are saying the
same word correct?
THE DEVIL
A very precious one. A wholly
unique item. How many truly unique items
are in this world Walter?
WALTER
And we will be settled up?
THE DEVIL
Walter “Troubles” Mix will in
essence become a dead end in the
search for the missing ledger.
WALTER
Well… when you put it like that…
Glass breaking and muffled fighting can be heard making it’s way
through the wall.
WALTER (CONT’D)
Oh. Listen boys I wouldn’t go out there-
The door bursts open and Miceli’s unconscious body falls to the ground.
WALTER (CONT’D)
Miceli! You’re back!
Whitney enters the room. Slightly out of breath.
WHITNEY
(cheery)
Troubles! There you are. Am I late?
WALTER
No. Right on time in fact.
THE DEVIL
I don’t believe I’ve had the pleasure.
WHITNEY
(to The Devil)
Of course you haven’t.
(to Walter)
Ready to go?
WALTER
Alright Doug! We have a deal.
THE DEVIL
Here are the details.
WALTER
Hand those to Whit would you? I’m
also going to need an extra set of
hands. I’m taking Krog here with me.
KROG
Datz not my name!
THE DEVIL
We can accommodate you. Ronnie.
Help Walter with whatever he needs.
KROG
Sure boss.
WALTER
Come now Whit.
WHITNEY
What just happened?
WALTER
That? New client.
WHITNEY
I’m confused.
WALTER
Keep walking. The fact we’ve made
it out alive is an interesting development.
INT. THE NOTHINGNESS –
CLICK.
STATIC.
Donald and Louise are still in a panic.
The door handle in rattling vigorously.
DONALD
AAAAARRRRGGGGGHHHHH!!!!
LOUISE
AAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHH!!!!!
DONALD
OOOOPPPPEEENNNNN!!!!
LOUISE
What hell is this?!?! There is no
sky just what ones we read about in books-
The door knob rattle and Donald’s scream ungulate beneath Louise’s rant.
LOUISE (CONT’D)
What are these books you ask, I ask?
They?
Who?
What are they!
Who put them here? What is here and
where are the words coming from
profusely rambling out of my mouth!
LOUISE (CONT’D)
WHO’S MOUTH IS MY MOUTH?!?!
Yes!
These are the things Donald needs
to be asking ourselves of and too.
I’m bramble on… I bramble…
Eye… eye bramble my eyes they
bramble on the path… to know!
Where are the words without the books?
Where are the words? Who told us?
Who told us the words?!?
(Beat)
AAAAARRRGGGHHHHHH!!!!
What hell is this?!?! There is no
sky just what ones we read about in books-
The door knob rattle and Donald’s scream ungulate beneath Louise’s rant.
LOUISE (CONT’D)
What are these books you ask, I ask?
They?
Who?
What are they!
Who put them here? What is here and
where are the words coming from
profusely rambling out of my mouth!
WHO’S MOUTH IS MY MOUTH?!?!
Yes!
These are the things Donald needs
to be asking ourselves of and too.
I’m bramble on… I bramble…
Eye… eye bramble my eyes they
bramble on the path… to know!
Where are the words without the books?
Where are the words? Who told us?
Who told us the words?!?
Music cuts Louise off and briefly plays out a flute solo.
LOUISE (CONT’D)
I’m bramble on… I bramble…
Eye… eye bramble my eyes they
bramble on the path… to know!
Where are the words without the books?
Where are the words? Who told us?
Who told us the words?!?
(Beat)
AAAAARRRGGGHHHHHH!!!!
DONALD
HEELLLLPPPPP UUUUSSSSSS!!!!!
STATIC.
CLICK.
What’s The Frequency? is written and created by James Oliva.
Production and sound design by Alexander Danner.
What’s The Frequency’s theme music composed by Kurt C Nelson.
We’d like to announce we now have an online store for show merchandise on the Big Cartel Which you can visit by going to whatsthefrequency.bigcartel.com.
(James hysterically laughs and mocks the outro)
If you really enjoy the show please consider contributing to our Patreon campaign at www.patreon.com/wtfrequency
For the month of February we are running a contest. For every person that signs up as a Patreon supporter at the $3 and up will be put in a raffle for a limited edition signed and numbered poster. In addition ANY Patreon support level you sign up for in those months will earn you free shipping on any order from our store. February is the last month to sign up and be eligible for the drawing.
We’d like to give special thanks to Eli Mcllveen and Sean Howard of audio drama podcast Alba Salix Royal Physician, Iri Alexander of audio drama podcast Jim Robbie and The Wanderers as well as Jake Song of audio drama podcast Misadventure By Death
This episode contained new material by our composer Kurt C. Nelson. Additional music and sounds used from public domain and creative commons sources.
As always I’m James Oliva. Till next time.
What's The Frequency? 